1. Play dead. Before you laugh and say “that won’t work” have you actually tried it? Seriously, fall down and don’t move. Even if she yells your name or pokes at you with her high heel. Just pretend like it is nap time.
2. Start to pray. I normally look at them and indicate they are supposed to join in… and keep shooting astonished looks that they aren’t.
3. Keep saying “I love you” till they stop talking. It will work. Have faith.
4. Counter everything they say with a bad adage about some sport they hate. Women absolutely hate when we do sports analogies and it is enjoyable to see them squirm.
5. Yell “That’s right I forgot to do that thing!” and run out the door… you may want to wait a few hours before returning. Possibly with some flowers.
6. Tell her suddenly that Bill has died…
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